Yes, yes I do. I just want to watch half a movie and possibly snuggle/make-out. Not gonna happen. *sighs* Since when did life get so boring? Aren't thursday nights supposed to be ladies night somewhere out there in the world? Good thing I'm being dragged to another party on Saturday, bad thing is it's the same people it's always been.
So here's what I'll be doing in about 10 minutes : Pulling on comfy pj's, grabing a pillow and going to sleep... here's to hoping the weekend is much better than this.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Let's jump right in, shall we?
I've been having a crappy week. There is no better way to describe it than "crappy". And it hasn't exactly been a week, more like on-and-off month where I'm either feeling "crappy" or "blah". And why? Men. More specifically the men in my life.
Ok, let me give you guys (yes I'm talking to the imaginary people who live on the other side of this screen) a little background about me here. For some reason - probably my lack of *everything* - I've never been on a proper date. No that one time a guy took me to a bar to try and get me drunk so I'd make out with him was not a date. I'm 21 and pratically a newbie to all things relationship related. I feel retarded every time I meet someone new because I feel like I'm new in school again but with braces and a stutter. Anyway, this brings me to the point I wanted to make. I do not know how to interact with people decently. There I said it. I'm socially retarded.
Moving on, the two men in my life right now have very different backgrounds (and I might get into those later on), one I met at a party I was dragged to by a friend and the other I met on the internet. Yes I know ... blah blah blah. The thing is, I know, without a single doubt in my mind, neither of them is interested in me but more in scoring or adding another notch to their bedposts. Seeing as I'm not religious this shouldn't bother me as much as it does but the thing is, due to the aformentioned social retardedness of my person I can't bring myself to cut off all ties with them or give them what they want. Well the second one is because despite what people might think I actually have some vestiges of morals and refuse to "go all the way" with someone I don't love.
But it's still kind of sucky when they call me up late at night trying to use their womanizing skills on me. Add 100% scared of confrontation and what do you get? A woman who gets herself into stupid and degrading situations like these :
Guy one calls me up on Wednesday looking to hook up, I can't, he rescheduals for Thursday - He doesn't show up. *throws imaginary rocks at him*
Guy two tries a little harder than no.1 during the weekend but still ends up using the same techniques, he get's the horizonal makeout and runs like he just remembered he lets ice-cream out of the freezer before he came over.
What? Did I just say I'm hooking up with two guys? Yes. But in the grand scheme of my "dating" past that is 2/3.
Is it so wrong to want a guy to actually be interested in me? Or should I pull off my rose colored glasses and give my romantic thinking a rest?
Ok, let me give you guys (yes I'm talking to the imaginary people who live on the other side of this screen) a little background about me here. For some reason - probably my lack of *everything* - I've never been on a proper date. No that one time a guy took me to a bar to try and get me drunk so I'd make out with him was not a date. I'm 21 and pratically a newbie to all things relationship related. I feel retarded every time I meet someone new because I feel like I'm new in school again but with braces and a stutter. Anyway, this brings me to the point I wanted to make. I do not know how to interact with people decently. There I said it. I'm socially retarded.
Moving on, the two men in my life right now have very different backgrounds (and I might get into those later on), one I met at a party I was dragged to by a friend and the other I met on the internet. Yes I know ... blah blah blah. The thing is, I know, without a single doubt in my mind, neither of them is interested in me but more in scoring or adding another notch to their bedposts. Seeing as I'm not religious this shouldn't bother me as much as it does but the thing is, due to the aformentioned social retardedness of my person I can't bring myself to cut off all ties with them or give them what they want. Well the second one is because despite what people might think I actually have some vestiges of morals and refuse to "go all the way" with someone I don't love.
But it's still kind of sucky when they call me up late at night trying to use their womanizing skills on me. Add 100% scared of confrontation and what do you get? A woman who gets herself into stupid and degrading situations like these :
Guy one calls me up on Wednesday looking to hook up, I can't, he rescheduals for Thursday - He doesn't show up. *throws imaginary rocks at him*
Guy two tries a little harder than no.1 during the weekend but still ends up using the same techniques, he get's the horizonal makeout and runs like he just remembered he lets ice-cream out of the freezer before he came over.
What? Did I just say I'm hooking up with two guys? Yes. But in the grand scheme of my "dating" past that is 2/3.
Is it so wrong to want a guy to actually be interested in me? Or should I pull off my rose colored glasses and give my romantic thinking a rest?
And thus a blog was created.
Let's see... how does one begin the introduction to the stories of her life?
"Say something witty" - you try to help. Hmmm but alas, I am not witty.
"Say something funny" - yeah well same problem there...
This blog is exactly that. It's about a girl/woman who feels like she knows nothing, has nothing to offer, nothing going for her but is desperate to find : THE ONE!
How did I come across the idea of writting a blog? Cigarette break on a Wednesday morning. I was feeling blue and all woe is me, let's throw a pity party when this brilhant idea poped into my mind! Well ok, so maybe it's not so brilhant but hey, it's something to do that will keep my hands out of the huge bowl of cookies I have next to me that keep calling my name!
"So what is this blog about?" you might find yourself wondering. Quite obviously it is about life, love and the last year of my masters degree in biochemistry.
"Say something witty" - you try to help. Hmmm but alas, I am not witty.
"Say something funny" - yeah well same problem there...
This blog is exactly that. It's about a girl/woman who feels like she knows nothing, has nothing to offer, nothing going for her but is desperate to find : THE ONE!
How did I come across the idea of writting a blog? Cigarette break on a Wednesday morning. I was feeling blue and all woe is me, let's throw a pity party when this brilhant idea poped into my mind! Well ok, so maybe it's not so brilhant but hey, it's something to do that will keep my hands out of the huge bowl of cookies I have next to me that keep calling my name!
"So what is this blog about?" you might find yourself wondering. Quite obviously it is about life, love and the last year of my masters degree in biochemistry.
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